Livejournal

The following posts were originally housed on my Livejournal page:

10 Random Facts

schuhoney tagged me, and I was seriously bored in my classes today, so I did it.

Headache

Dear Professors:

I no longer care about your classes.  Please make classes end now.

No Love,
Red_Confession.

Life

So…  I’ve come to realize that I’ve made a bunch of mistakes socially since entering college.  It feels like middle school all over again.  The walls back up and stronger than ever.  I’m bitchy and cynical towards everyone around me that I don’t consider a friend.  And that circle is so goddamned small I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided they were all I needed.  But I guess I’m paying the price for it now.  I’m lonely.  If my few friends are busy, or if I don’t feel like hanging out with them, I’m out of luck.  And I’m beginning to think that it’s evolving into depression.  It’s like….  there isn’t anything I want to do anymore.  I don’t want to see people, I don’t want to do things I liked to do, I can’t concentrate…  I just want to sleep.  And then, at the same time, I want desperately to do all of those things.

Maybe some of it has to do with the fact I’ve lost contact with people I hung out with in high school.  To me those were the golden days.  I mean I can message them on Facebook, I guess, but it’s not the same as seeing them face-to-face, which is what I really want to do.  But I also know that I can’t do that either –we’re all spread throughout the country.

I guess I could try to expand my circle of friends, but there isn’t anyone in my classes that I like.  I mean there’s this one kid in my Japanese class that seems interesting, but I also can’t see myself hanging out with him outside of class.  My mom thinks I should try to hang out with one of my other friends’ friends, but I don’t know them either.  Just because they’re my friend’s friend doesn’t mean they’ll like me.  I need to find my own friends.  But I don’t know where to look.

And so, for now, I’m alone.

TB

Okay, now that I’ve finished this damn paper, I figure I might as well put this thing to use.

Things that have been prevalent in my life in this point in time:
- Finals Week
- That damn history paper
- Packing
- My Boyfriend
- Possibly contracting TB

Done

I’ve finished my paper.  Oh sweet mercy it’s a load off.  I just need to proofread it tomorrow.

OMG I’m in college!

Wow, it’s been a while since I last ranted in this. It’s even been a while since I posted those shitty quizilla things. I’m above that now. Yeah, I still do them from time to time, but I see no need in posting them for the world to see. I honestly have no idea why I was so obsessed with them. I suppose that just shows how much I’ve matured. Apparently, the last time I posted anything was September 25 of last year. But the last time I actually posted anything substantial was June 21st, the day after Anime NEXT last year. A lot has happened since then.
For one, my entire senior year. Then, my graduation. Finally, my entrance into the college world. And that’s just in school. So let’s try to bring this thing up to date.
Let’s see, seeing as my last message spoke of my crush of the week Drew, let me say that that relationship lasted an entire week. Maybe two. Apparently it was just a fling. He broke my heart. I swore I would smarten up about love, but apparently I’m just a fool. More on that later.
Then, chronologically speaking, I entered my senior year of high school. If you haven’t already guessed, Delaney and I remained friends, and to this day I still consider her one of my two best female friends. The other is Alicia. Right before school started, I passed my road test after losing 30 points, the max amount allowed, because the driving lady was a bitch who kept yelling at me. I think she was mad that I was taking the test in my dad’s Cadillac. Deal with it.
I celebrated my 17th Birthday at a haunted house/corn maze with all my friends. That was a load of fun. It was me, Delaney, John, Alicia, Jeremy, Elana, Kristen, Emily and Jamie. Delaney, Jamie and Elana were immune, John pretended to be, and me, Emily, Kristen, and Jeremy got freaked out. My memories of that include Jeremy being chased into a corner by a guy with a “chainsaw” after I ditched him, me yelling “You are DEFINITELY not Kristen!” to a “zombie” who tried to take my hand instead of Kristen, and John laughing at one of the “zombies” when they tried to scare him. The corn maze was even more fun. Someone convinced me to make fun of the characters who popped out, and we wound up having loads of fun. Poor Emily almost had an asthma attack though going through the smoke, and that wasn’t fun. Kristen seemed to be the only person who didn’t get the “make fun of the scary characters” memo, so we helped them scare her by giving them her name. Kristen to this day is still mad at us about that. My favorite memory of that night, however, was this midget “zombie” who jumped out at me in an attempt to scare me. I told him that he was adorable, but he didn’t scare me. The guy got really pissed off and started stalking me. In response I patted him on the head and called him cute. He stood there fuming, and everyone else was laughing hysterical. I enjoyed that party.
Senior year was amazing too. I felt like I spent more time in study hall than in class. Jeremy, Kristen, John, Emily and I each had a study hall together (although not in a group, like John and I had one study hall, Emily and I had another, etc). But my classes were fun too. I had:
First Semester:
1st Set-
2nd Set-
X Set- Choir (what else)
3rd Set-
4th Set- AP Programming
5th Set- Religion
6th Set- AP Govt
7th Set- 20th Century
8th Set- AP English

Second Semester:
1st Set- Study Hall
2nd Set- Gym
X Set- Choir
3rd Set- Study Hall
4th Set- AP Programming
5th Set- Psychology
6th Set- AP Govt
7th Set- Study Hall
8th Set- AP English

The best class was AP English because Mrs. Kast was a semi-senile enjoyable cranky teacher, and the worst was Psychology, hands down. I hated that class like nothing else.
Come Christmas of last year, I got my baby. The best gift I had ever received. Well there were better ones, but I mean material-wise. I received my baby, my Shirogane. She’s my brand new 2006 Chevy Cobalt LT. She’s two-doors, silver, with a gray cloth interior. She also has the cutest little spoiler ever. I have since added pawprint window decals in each of the backseat windows, as well as a LuHi sticker, a LaSalle sticker, and a LG (Lake George) sticker. I love my car. So much. After I got my car, I got a parking pass from the school and I was able to drive to school. And I was able to go to school late too, because of my 1st set study hall. And on C Days I didn’t have to be in school until 10. And on A days I was able to leave 7th Set. It was so nice.
But I think the best thing that happened to me senior year was the Italy trip. It wasn’t open to only seniors, but I would say 2/3rds of the Senior class went. In my group it was me, Jeremy, Kristen, Delaney and Lynn. Although I have yet to mention her (mainly because I didn’t know her when I wrote in my previous posts), she and Debbie were Delaney’s friends (10th graders), who have in turn become our friends. The trip was amazing. Italy is the most beautiful country. But the trip wasn’t entirely without faults. Jeremy and I got into a fight over something pointless (whatever it was I started it) and we didn’t talk for like 4 of the 8 days. Delaney, Lynn, and Kristen tried not to play sides, but Lynn and Delaney hung out with me while Kristen hung out with Jeremy. We finally made up however, and I thought everything was okay, but I suppose our relationship was permanently strained (more on that later). The other bad thing that happened was I got sick on like the third day there, and I got a bad fever. But right before I got the fever, I put my foot in my mouth by retorting something fairly nasty to my school’s principal (who was on the trip), after he falsely accused me of being loud. I am loud, but it wasn’t me that one time.
But the trip did have some good moments too. Delaney, Lynn, and I had a lot of fun siteseeing, and it was there that I met Dan. He was Lynn and Delaney’s age, and he went to school with us, but I honestly had never seen him before the trip. I thought he was really cute, but towards the end of the trip we began to flirt with each other. And once Jeremy and I were friends again, he gave me pointers. Then, on the last day, I asked Dan if he would go out with me, and he said yes. But we were on different flights, and I didn’t see him again until we got back to school. A week later he broke up with me via a shittly written letter. Yeah, I’m a moron. In his defense, I think I scared him off. But by now I am completely over him. As a matter of fact, when I visited my school the other day (more on that later, probably another post) I saw him and I was like “hey it’s that guy I flirted with in Italy. What was his name again? Esen? No, that’s the name I came up with after seeing his weird myspace name. What the hell WAS his name??”. It took me two days to remember his name. I’m over Drew too BTW.
The Italy trip was in April. I graduated June 10, 2006. I graduated wirh Honors. I got the honors cords and the National Honor Society sash thing. Graduation was nice, and it was quite sad because I knew that things would never be the same again with my friends. We all said our goodbyes and promised to stay in touch.
During my senior year, I was accepted into three colleges (which is good considering I only applied to three colleges): Quinnipiac University, La Salle University, and Long Island University, CW Post Campus. All three also offered me scholarships. I received a $10,000 scholarship from Quinnipiac, a $12,000 scholarship from LaSalle, and a $13,000 scholarship + entrance into their honors program from Post. Originally, I wanted to commute, because I didn’t want to leave home, but everyone told me not to do that. Not that that was my main reason for wanting to dorm. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would never have the true college experience if I commute. So that ruled out Post. Sure I could dorm in Post, but it was too close to my house, and the dorms were disgusting. That left Quinnipiac and LaSalle. I loved both campuses. My main problem with Quinnipiac was the dorms (they only provided triples and quads). My main problem with LaSalle was the neighborhood (it was a beautiful school in the middle of a ghetto). Finally, I decided that LaSalle was the place for me.
Because it took so long for me to choose, I was put in one of the few triple dorms LaSalle provides. At first I was really pissed, but I am quite happy at St. Neumann. I am not a party person, and I like to be left alone, so the fact everyone who parties in Neumann leaves makes me happy. Neumann is also located in LaSalle’s South Campus, which means it’s in a more “rural” area. North campus dorms are all right next to each other with one large shared courtyard, and they are steps away from Olney. And the fire alarm apparently goes off every other night in one of the north dorms. Not only that, my roommates are amazing. But I have a cute story about that too.
I listen to one of the local radio stations in NY (PLJ) when I’m in my car, and they were doing one of their bits where listeners can call in to ask this fortune-telling toy a question about their future. So for shits and giggles I call up, and get through. I have no idea what to say because I didn’t actually expect to get through. The first thought that came to my mind was love, so when the screener asked what my question was, I asked some question about love. He said there were too many already like that, so he hung up. But now that I had gotten through the first time, I wanted to be on the radio, so I thought up a new question. I wanted to know if my roommate would be a freak. At the time I knew nothing about my roomie(s), or that I was in a triple.
So I call in again and get through again. So the screener asks me what my question was. I tell him, he thinks it’s incredibly original and adds me to the cue. He and I talk for a little bit about what college I was going to and everything, then puts me on hold so I can listen to the radio on the phone (because you had to turn off your radio). Finally, they got to me and I asked my question. The toy responded something, I don’t remember exactly what, but it meant that my roomie would be cool. I thanked them and hung up. It made me happy.
Like three weeks later, I got my roomie assignments. That’s when I first found out I was in a triple. So I call the first girl, Lindsey, and I get her voicemail. And she has just the most fucking girlie girlie voice ever. I cringe and hang up, I couldn’t even leave a message. About four hours later she calls back and asks if I called her. I told her I did and that I was one of her new roomies. We talked for a little while longer, but it was forcefully civil. I began to think the mystic Abu was letting me down.
It took me a couple more days to reach my other roomie. She was Sarah, and seemed to be much more likable than Lindsey. Yes, she was girly, but nothing like Lindsey. Sarah actually played a real sport, and she seemed to be laid back like me. I hoped that she would be the balance between myself and Lindsey.
Anyway, so we all get to college, and Lindsey turns out to be just as girlie as I thought. But she didn’t come to the room a lot, so it worked.
Then the most amazing thing happened. Lindsey announced she was switching. The mustic Abu didn’t fail me! My new roomie was now an international student from China, and she was someone who I had talked too and actually liked. Her Chinese name is Xin Xin, but her American name is Hally. I love her and Sarah. So Abu was right. I’ve been wanting to call in to tell them for a while, but I haven’t had the guts.
And I’m tired of typing now, so I’ll continue this some other time. Hopefully just not in a year from now.